with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize