I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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