the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
