Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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