i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
