Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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