Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
