i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Green mimosas i think yes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
