ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
