turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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