Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
