I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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