why do cheetos always look like penises
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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