I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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