Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
