Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize