you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
