Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
