Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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