He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
