Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
