Everything about him screamed your future.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
