My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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