areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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