i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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