this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
