You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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