DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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