This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We need to rekindle our bromance
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
