Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize