you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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