we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
