so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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