he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
