can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
