im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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