Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
