Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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