Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
