I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
