I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
