You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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