Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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