i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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