I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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