I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's get the cat blown out
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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