some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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