so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
