I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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