see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize