I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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