i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am naked and annoyed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
