I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
