Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
